Kitty Grace Gunter Adams- Nanny

Pam's mom, Kitty Grace Gunter Adams died Sunday afternoon, October 25, about 12:30 p.m. After going into hospice on the previous Thursday night, she never regained consciousness.

It was a hard 10 days. Monday, October 19 was Kitty's 77th birthday. When Pam went over to see her, she had not been out of bed all day and had not eaten much or had anything to drink in most of two days (she is a Type I- insulin dependent diabetic). They tried to get her to the car but she was too weak. She protested at having the ambulance called, and along with her dehydration and dementia, she could not understand why she was in the hospital.

On Tuesday, a CAT scan indicated a tumor on the pancreas and a spot on the liver. It was advanced stages, and the doctor indicated it had probably been there for a year or more. Planning began immediately on what steps to take next, including trips to the bank, obtaining DNR forms and living wills.

On Wednesday, plans were made to move her to a hospice care facility; it was decided to go to the facility instead of the hospital, as they would be more able to monitor her medication. I believe the doctors knew she was much worse than any of us realized. She did receive much pain medication on Wednesday and blood transfusions on Thursday (against doctor's orders, as we learned later.)

She was moved to Hospice care Thursday evening, and was given medicine to comfort her and help her sleep after the ambulance ride. She convinced one of the ambulance drivers that she had been in the Navy for six years and had been deployed to sea three times for 9-month intervals. (She has never been in the Navy, but did work on a Navy test pilot base in the California desert for two years!) None of us realized this was the last conversation we would have between any of us. She was asleep by the time Pam and I got to her Thursday evening.

Friday morning presented some scares, and Pam spent the day Friday at hospice with her and Arnold, her dad. She never woke up Friday, and by noon began exhibiting signs of "imminent" death, as the hospice material indicated. Michael's flight landed about 6:00 p.m. and we went straight to the hospice facility; the Dallas area relatives came over that night and we all spent a lot of time together. Christopher's connecting flight was cancelled, so he could not come in Friday.

Saturday, many of the West Texas/Eastern New Mexico relatives arrived and spent the day. Christopher arrived around 3:30. There were not many changes from Friday through Saturday. There were probably 20 people in the room at one time! Hospice folks never said a word, and were very kind to keep us informed as to Kitty's status.

Sunday morning found only Pam, her dad Arnold, her brother Mike, and Mike's daughters Kathleen and Preslie at the hospice facility. It was a fairly quiet Sunday; no other relatives came in. While everyone was away eating, Kitty died peacefully at the facility. She would have wanted it that way- no one around to fuss about her. The way we looked at it: everyone else left, so she did, too...

We left early Monday morning for Midland for funeral services. We made the arrangements through a very difficult Monday afternoon, and family "headquarters" was at one of Pam's cousins' house in Midland. (We stayed in Big Spring overnight each time.) Tuesday night was visitation, and Wednesday at 2:00 p.m. was the funeral. It was a beautiful service, and Christopher asked to give the eulogy- he did a great job.

We returned home Wednesday after the service; Michael's flight (obviously a change from original plans) left at 7:00 a.m. and Christopher flew out at 2:30 Thursday afternoon.

It has been over a week and things are still difficult, as you can imagine. The true irony is that, after spending almost 18 months nursing my mom back to health, we lose Pam's mom in a week. We were all thinking the same thing would happen with Kitty as with LaVera, but such is not the case.

It has been a hard year. The roller coaster ride is getting old fast...

The holidays will be very bittersweet. We will have Granmommy back from so long in care; we will miss Nanny very much.

Please remember Arnold Adams, Mike Adams, and Pam in your thoughts and prayers especially this holiday season... as well as all of those who have lost loved ones and will be spending their first holidays without them.