Let's see what the new year brings...

For those who didn't receive our Christmas letter, or haven't heard anything since my last post, let me catch you up.

In the fall, Mom & Dad found a place to live in Lewisville, very near the nursing home where mom was for so long. It is called Evergreen, and is a senior living center. It is an apartment, with rent based on income, and they were very pleased with their selection and the folks there (they picked a 2-bedroom apartment). It will not be the same as living in the 3-bedroom house, but should be OK for "downsizing." It is still under construction; the original completion date was March 31, 2011, but now may be ready as early as February 15, 2011. We'll keep you posted.

November was a busy month! There were rumblings about the house in October- in November they became full blown, and the house sold in mid-November, with an agreement that all would be cleared by November 29th. That means things needed to move (so to speak!) in a hurry! Mom and Dad had packed some boxes and given some stuff away, but it is a big house, and they had lived there almost 50 years. The plan was to move most of the items that would eventually come to Lewisville to Pam & I took off November 15-17 to help pack. We got the kitchen and basement (mostly) done, and actually finished out a room or two. Pam & I came back to work on Thursday and Friday (November 18-19) and left Saturday morning, November 20th, to finish up.

One of the first things we did when we went back was to contact an estate sales person Pam knew from Midland that helped when her parents moved to the area. Through a series of calls, we finally got someone to agree to do a sale, but only if we could get an extension (so the sale could be December 3-4). Because the house needed a new roof (insurance paid for that, by the way...), we were able to get an extension with the realtor and buyer. That made everything go a lot easier! The estate sales people would stage and run the sale, keep 30%, and send the folks the rest. All we had to do was determine what was to be kept, box it, and take it to the storage building; we left everything else in the house. That included Dad's tools in the garage, storeroom, and basement, as well as his trains, lots of old books and toys, etc. Some furniture remained (they had already sold some of the furniture) and the rest was stored.

Because it was the Thanksgiving holiday (and we had Mom's family coming to Coppell to spend the day with us), we felt it was important we actually move on Monday. We finished packing a lot of the house on Saturday and decided that, yes, Monday would work. We contacted a local mover Sunday night and they were at the house at 9:30 Monday morning to move the rest of the furniture.

Sunday was a very emotional day for Mom & Dad; we made them go to church for the last time (including a church luncheon). They resisted at first, but I think after all was said and done, they were glad they went. The pastor recognized them during the service, and there were a lot of tearful goodbyes throughout. It's hard when you've lived there since 1955!

Sunday was a whirlwind day to get everything finished. The back two rooms (office and master bedroom) had a lot of decision-making to be done. With the movers coming Monday morning, quick decisions had to be made, especially about what important papers, documents, etc. to keep and what could be stored for a while.

The movers showed up and got everything moved to storage (COMPLETELY filling the extra-large storage room!) in about 3 hours; by noon, we were ready to load the three vehicles (Mom & Dad's car, our van and pickup) and head out. By the time we got everything done, visited various companies (including the realtor) and others, it was about 4:30 before we actually left Big Spring for good.

We arrived that night around 9:00 and got everyone unloaded and into bed. Tuesday was definitely a day of rest and recovery (and finding where everything finally was) and some unloading. Wednesday was a day of preparation for Thanksgiving. We were all grateful for not moving on Tuesday as was originally planned!

Thursday saw Pam's family (Dad Arnold, brother Mike, niece Preslie) as well as all the Bearden clan come for lunch. Aunt Doda (Lloyd Ola Bearden, Mom's sister), my cousin Sue, my cousin Mike and his wife Molly, and boys Michael and Ian all came for the day- it was a great Thanksgiving day!

Everyone has settled in to routines now. Pam and I tend to work late (often past 8:00 p.m.) so we don't often get supper together, but do enjoy the occasions where we can come in earlier (such as on Wednesdays when we have church activities).

The boys came in for Christmas, and Michael brought his girlfriend Le'Ann as well as her brother and parents, so it was a great family Christmas again with all sorts of folks here! We loved having Mike and Ann Duran with us, as well as Spencer. It was a lot of fun, and the kids all fixed Christmas dinner for all the "old" folks-- it was SOOO good! Ham & turkey with 13 side dishes! Yum!

The kids leave on December 29th, so it will be sad to see them go. They have had friends in and out as well as all kinds of relatives, so it has been great fun.

Mom has already started in-home therapy and goes back to the doctor in January or early February, so I'll try to update again when we have more news.

A long time since my last report...

Wow- I didn't realize I hadn't updated since February! I don't know if anyone is still reading, but let me catch everyone up as to what is happening as of today, Columbus Day 2010!

Mom had an appointment this morning with the knee doctor. We expected her to have surgery tomorrow on the knee due to continued problems. It just wasn't getting better with therapy. In fact, the doctor finally stopped therapy and told her back in August to have surgery or he would dismiss her. So, surgery was scheduled for tomorrow; pre-op appointments were today.

However, she's back in Coppell with us. The doctor has reconsidered some of the medical treatments and has determined he would be surgically trying to repair a problem that was in part being caused by medicine. So, they are changing the medicine regime and she has another appointment next month to see if the new medicine is making any difference.

She is in a lot of pain with the right knee. This morning, it felt as if it had a fever; it was very hot compared to the left knee. I don't know how that was addressed (maybe through the medicine), but hopefully we will see a change.

On to other issues...

The house in Big Spring has been on the market for over a year now. Back in the summer, we discovered a new Senior Citizens living area being built right around the corner from where the nursing home was in Lewisville. Long story short-- they have been approved for an apartment there and can move in late March-early April 2011.

There is a pretty good nibble on the house right now, so maybe it will sell soon. If it sells before the apartment is ready, we are planning to move them into our house until it is ready. Won't be the first time they have lived with us, so no problem!

That's catching you up quickly! I'll try to keep better tabs on this! Keep watching for further updates!

Continuing more of the same

After February doctor appointments, the results are still pretty much the same. The only problem might be that the physical therapy is not able to work out Mom being able to stretch her leg out straight; thus, when she walks, it is still with knees bent. The doctor would like to do a "day surgery" to clip the tendons/muscles behind the knee, then stretch it completely out, and allow it to heal stretched.

Mom's not real excited about surgery again. I don't blame her.

The doctor did assign more P.T. through the next appointment. She'll have to make a decision then.

Otherwise, everything else is going just fine! All other reports were good. We'll see about the surgery after the next appointments (I believe in late March or early April).

Thanksgiving and Christmas and Good Reports

Thanksgiving was a pretty quiet affair and pretty simple. Everything here was store bought, and there were 7 at the table-- with a glaring empty chair for Nanny. But Mom & Dad were here, along with Arnold, Mike, and Preslie (Pam's dad, brother, and Mike's daughter, our niece). Watched a little football and enjoyed the day.

The boys are flying in for Christmas! They will be here from December 21-28, so it will be a great time! Not sure when Mom & Dad will come in, but it will be nice to have the boys here! I'm sure we'll think up some fun things to do.

Mom had doctor appointments in early December and got back great reports and continued changes in therapy. Her knee doctor was very pleased, but did say the recovery may be slower than he originally thought ("it may take up to 3 years"), but he is please with the progress. He may consider a small surgery on the Achilles' tendon to help speed the stretching process along, but (as I understand), it would be in-house and not a huge deal.

We were able to go look at some of the Christmas lights in our area on Monday night (before the final appointment and trip back to Big Spring on Tuesday). One of our friends has a "computerized" light show with about 10,000 lights, so we went by for the show. They had a blast!

Not only that, it looks like Santa has already visited our Christmas tree! There are lots of presents that suddenly appeared!

Kitty Grace Gunter Adams- Nanny

Pam's mom, Kitty Grace Gunter Adams died Sunday afternoon, October 25, about 12:30 p.m. After going into hospice on the previous Thursday night, she never regained consciousness.

It was a hard 10 days. Monday, October 19 was Kitty's 77th birthday. When Pam went over to see her, she had not been out of bed all day and had not eaten much or had anything to drink in most of two days (she is a Type I- insulin dependent diabetic). They tried to get her to the car but she was too weak. She protested at having the ambulance called, and along with her dehydration and dementia, she could not understand why she was in the hospital.

On Tuesday, a CAT scan indicated a tumor on the pancreas and a spot on the liver. It was advanced stages, and the doctor indicated it had probably been there for a year or more. Planning began immediately on what steps to take next, including trips to the bank, obtaining DNR forms and living wills.

On Wednesday, plans were made to move her to a hospice care facility; it was decided to go to the facility instead of the hospital, as they would be more able to monitor her medication. I believe the doctors knew she was much worse than any of us realized. She did receive much pain medication on Wednesday and blood transfusions on Thursday (against doctor's orders, as we learned later.)

She was moved to Hospice care Thursday evening, and was given medicine to comfort her and help her sleep after the ambulance ride. She convinced one of the ambulance drivers that she had been in the Navy for six years and had been deployed to sea three times for 9-month intervals. (She has never been in the Navy, but did work on a Navy test pilot base in the California desert for two years!) None of us realized this was the last conversation we would have between any of us. She was asleep by the time Pam and I got to her Thursday evening.

Friday morning presented some scares, and Pam spent the day Friday at hospice with her and Arnold, her dad. She never woke up Friday, and by noon began exhibiting signs of "imminent" death, as the hospice material indicated. Michael's flight landed about 6:00 p.m. and we went straight to the hospice facility; the Dallas area relatives came over that night and we all spent a lot of time together. Christopher's connecting flight was cancelled, so he could not come in Friday.

Saturday, many of the West Texas/Eastern New Mexico relatives arrived and spent the day. Christopher arrived around 3:30. There were not many changes from Friday through Saturday. There were probably 20 people in the room at one time! Hospice folks never said a word, and were very kind to keep us informed as to Kitty's status.

Sunday morning found only Pam, her dad Arnold, her brother Mike, and Mike's daughters Kathleen and Preslie at the hospice facility. It was a fairly quiet Sunday; no other relatives came in. While everyone was away eating, Kitty died peacefully at the facility. She would have wanted it that way- no one around to fuss about her. The way we looked at it: everyone else left, so she did, too...

We left early Monday morning for Midland for funeral services. We made the arrangements through a very difficult Monday afternoon, and family "headquarters" was at one of Pam's cousins' house in Midland. (We stayed in Big Spring overnight each time.) Tuesday night was visitation, and Wednesday at 2:00 p.m. was the funeral. It was a beautiful service, and Christopher asked to give the eulogy- he did a great job.

We returned home Wednesday after the service; Michael's flight (obviously a change from original plans) left at 7:00 a.m. and Christopher flew out at 2:30 Thursday afternoon.

It has been over a week and things are still difficult, as you can imagine. The true irony is that, after spending almost 18 months nursing my mom back to health, we lose Pam's mom in a week. We were all thinking the same thing would happen with Kitty as with LaVera, but such is not the case.

It has been a hard year. The roller coaster ride is getting old fast...

The holidays will be very bittersweet. We will have Granmommy back from so long in care; we will miss Nanny very much.

Please remember Arnold Adams, Mike Adams, and Pam in your thoughts and prayers especially this holiday season... as well as all of those who have lost loved ones and will be spending their first holidays without them.

Cruel twist of fate

Mom is doing just fine. They had a doctor's appointment here in Dallas on Columbus Day; we had taken that opportunity to take an extended weekend (we both took Friday off) to fly to NYC to see the boys, so we missed them all around!

When I called Mom, she indicated the appointment had gone well but she wished it had gone better. The doctor is changing therapy again, but says she is improving; just not as fast as Mom wants to improve. They have another appointment in December; so they will be here in November for Thanksgiving, December for appointments, and late December for Christmas! We are excited to have them back!

However, other news is not so good. Pam's mom (we moved them here from Midland in 2008) has been feeling ill for the past 2-3 weeks, and has been getting more and more feeble and had more dementia problems in the past six months. On Monday, Pam went to see her and she had not eaten in 2 days; she was too weak to get to the car, so they called the ambulance. After many tests, they told the family yesterday that she had late stage pancreatic cancer; the prognosis was three months at the most. However, they are checking her out of the hospital tonight to go directly into hospice. We think it may be more like three weeks...

We are flying the grandsons home tomorrow; we hope they make it in time.

Please keep us and especially Pam's father Arnold Adams and brother Mike in your thoughts and prayers. They are devastated and she seems to be failing fast.

Not much happening

Not much is happening since their last visit. Mom & Dad came back to the DFW area for appointments September 6-10. We went and looked at a couple of places on Labor day, but that was all. It gave us a start at what to look at and for.

Mom's appointments went very well. Her doctor from Vista Ridge doesn't want to see her for another 6 months; her knee doctor wants to see her in October and changed her therapy.

I talked to Mom & Dad last night and they are doing well. Therapy has been going very well; she goes 3 days per week and gets measured each time (angle of development with her knee?) and makes gains each time.

The only thing they haven't been pleased about is the fact that the house has yet to even be shown, so they are not in much of a hurry to pack, go through things, etc.

They attended a Masonic function last Thursday night, and Mom and Dad both got to see a lot of friends who have been thinking and praying for her for a long time. It was a great time for both of them.

They will be back here for appointments on the Sunday before Columbus Day; we will actually be in New York to see the boys for an extended weekend trip!